My Photo

Sandra Gail Lambert - Photography

  • Lotus
    When I first moved to Florida, I saw a photograph of pitcher plants blooming in the Apalachicola Forest. I packed up my camping gear and went in search of them. Hopefully, my photographs will return the favor by sending people off on their own adventures.

Writing

November 15, 2008

Mothers and motherboards

Well, my mother comes home from the hospital tomorrow.  And my computer, which is getting a new motherboard, might be ready before Thanksgiving.  Nevertheless, I am writing most mornings.  I sometimes fall asleep over the computer and wake up to a flurry of a's or o's across the screen from where my fingers weighed down, but I'm showing up.  

I'm not trying anything wild like forging ahead, but I rearrange sentences and expand scenes and trim dialog.  Next week, with any luck, the "big picture" writing will resume. 

November 09, 2008

Five Thousand Words

I think it's not worth it, that my mind is tired and scattered, but most mornings I get in my writing bed and start working.  Despite everything, those moments happen where a line of dialog seems perfect or a scene gets written that skips my mind and comes straight out of my hand and onto the page.  And it adds up.  The five thousand words on this chapter so far makes me smile a restorative smile every time I think about them. 

I'm still on a borrowed computer.  It's wonderful, but there won't be links or photographs on the blog for awhile.  You'll have to settle for my meanderings, unadorned.   

November 06, 2008

Writing again.

This morning, I worked on the current chapter for the first time since returning from ACA.  It's taken way to long to settle back in.  My computer is off to HP repair, but I'm using a graciously loaned to me laptop.  I've had to add a few essential writerly choices to my friend's toolbar - like "save," "undo," and "wordcount." 

I still don't have wireless.  I yearn for the almost forgotten ease of being propped up in my writing day bed and flipping back and forth from the internet to my writing.  Sigh.  The things we get used to.  I miss my daily internet dose of "Tell Me More." 

Well, I can only sit like this, huddled around the ethernet connection with the laptop actually on my lap, for a limited time.  Imagine my connections connecting. 

October 19, 2008

Where I've spent the weekend - ACA Day 7.

IMG_7377 

It's hard to even say the words out loud, but I've done initial research, written out the whole loose beginning to end on yellow sheets, and am over 3,000 words into an on-the-computer draft.  This is usually at least, at least, three weeks of work.  I've done it in six days.  And it's likely I'll move forward another thousand words tonight. 

Here at ACA, propped up against my pillows, writing, I'm having the time of my life. 

October 16, 2008

ACA - Day Four

ACA signage 

These are my favorite signs here.  I feel cared for like a turtle nest on the beach or a woodstork rookery.  Although today is a rough day.  I'm overtired, had bad dreams, and am pretty sure that I'm a crap and/or lazy writer.

October 15, 2008

News from the Coastal Scrub - ACA Day 3

IMG_7379 

Here's the view from my little, lovely apartment at the Atlantic Center for the Arts.  This morning I was up at four, wrote until 6:30, strolled the grounds under the setting full moon with a mug of soy milk mixed with protein powder, wrote more (I've started a new chapter, and about 8am the structure of it appeared in my mind!), and am now in the Commons Room pealing a grapefruit and blogging.  Need I say it? Life is Good.  

Today I meet in my group (three poets, three fiction writers, and Kelly Cherry).  Later are the introductory readings where I get to hear bits of writing from the whole mass of us.  And give one myself.  Then dinner, then bed, then up to write again in morning.  This is all so exciting. 

September 28, 2008

Fourteen Days Until The Atlantic Center for the Arts

ACA Fifty thousand half-way decent words - that is what I want done on this novel by the time I arrive at the residency with Kelly Cherry.  Most likely, I'm going to make it.  I mean I have the words right now, but the last 4,000 are only half half-way decent.  There's a week to change this, a week to pack, and then it's on to three weeks of away-from-my-life writing.  All the time, I yearn. 

September 13, 2008

Book research

Van and Kayaks 

Sometimes it's searching the web, sometimes it's flicking through microfiche reels, but sometimes this novel's research means returning to its geographic setting - the Silver River.   

My kayak friend and I were launched by 7:30 and had the river to ourselves.  A batch of baby alligators and their mama curled over downed branches, ibis waited on the top of the tallest dead tree for the first sunlight, and in a sandy cove, naked lesbians squealed as they dropped into the cold spring water.  

And I did do research.  I consulted with my kayak friend and the overhanging branches on how to describe the smell of cypress.  I found out exactly how far you have to go into the trees before the mosquitoes gather.  And, finally, I figured out a simile for how the air is on those mornings in the summer when even before dawn the humidity is hardcore. 

Afterwards, there was barbeque.  Yum.   

August 23, 2008

Post Fay

Tree tops twirled and things thumped on the roof, but nothing bad happened on this particular half acre in North Central Florida.  We ended up with a respectable and much needed 5.55 inches of rain, but writer friends in other parts of Florida are flooded.  

I've had days of staying inside and having time to work on this new chapter.  Mostly, of course, I wasted it, but today my research ranged from finding out who was elected governor in 1932 to what a speedboat of that time looked like to watching the DVD of "Freaks." 

Freaks_cast_shot It was such a good movie. (Except for the parts that weren't.)  I loved seeing so many disabled and just different people in one story and two of them were even main characters. And it was made in 1931 so there, during the depression, were a bearded woman, a legless man, armless women, an intersexed person, little people, conjoined twins, Prince Randian the human torso, and Zip, Pip and Schlitzie, the "pinheads," all with good paying jobs.  One of them got around the same way my new character does.  I zoomed and slow motioned the screen to see how he moved his body.  The gloves he wore, their thickness, when he would take them off gave me a whole scene between my character and her mother. 

Sometimes this writing thing is way fun.     

August 15, 2008

A Pie Worthy Chapter

Apple pieSo.  Okay, here we go. The new novel time line means that I will have this next chapter finished in two months.  You heard it here.  I've got the year (1932), a main character, and a first page.  That's a start.  I wish this beginning part was easier. 

I have had two readers of the just finished chapter.  They had some good suggestions.  They say they liked it.  One of them will be baking me an apple pie very soon.

    

August 10, 2008

Wild Iris Books

This is not me. It's been two days of revision at the sentence level.  It had gotten so that whenever someone said something to me, I'd see their words as if they were a strip of closed captioning.  Then I'd add commas and rearrange phrases.  It had to stop.  I had to clear my brain.

And now, after a night of dancing and lovely flirting at Wild Iris Books, I don't care if you run your sentences on it won't even make me blink.  To seriously dance will remove all my worries about split infinitives, and upon arriving home, even dangling modifiers left my mind. 

Well, I and those dangling modifiers I brought home with me are going to bed.  Sweet Dreams, all.      

 

August 08, 2008

Writer friends

Belea keeneyBelea had to be in Gainesville yesterday, so that meant I had an evening of dinner, gelato, and bookstores, all wound through with writer talk.  We met at ACA a few years ago and have been sharing our successes and rejections ever since.  She showed me how to format my first submissions list.  She told me how to send a full ms. off to an agent that time one was requested.  Her mother made me a patchwork bag to hang off my wheelchair that is just the right size for file folders and yellow pads.  Writers (and their mothers) are so generous.   

Check out Belea's websites here and here.  And if you like the gay male romantic smut - buy this 

August 02, 2008

I'm twittering

Twitter I think I'm the first of my crowd (mostly over forty, some of whom don't even own a television) to Twitter.  It's fun and would be even more fun if I had more company.  I promise, it only wastes a little bit of time. 

For a writer who sits alone in her room for most of the day, it works.  I get to announce every small accomplishment in a quick (140 characters or less) blurb out to the world.  It is satisfying even if hardly any one reads it.  Is that pathetic?  I don't care. 

Already, I have one follower, and our exchange of writerly moments makes me feel like part of a team.  Go Tayari.   

July 29, 2008

Thanks to the St. Augustine Project and Connie May Fowler

When I'm at a conference I'm just being there all prickly nervous one moment and heart-open engaged the next.  It's not until later, sometimes much later, that I know how it went. 

Here's a follow up from the Below Sea Level workshop.  Since that first week in June, I've rewritten (twice) the chapter that was critiqued there.  I like it. At the urging of Connie May, I made a time line for completing this novel - two months to write each chapter.  Today, a week short of two months, I'm done (Well, not done, done.  I'm never done, done.) with a brand new chapter.  

I think it's safe now for me make a few conclusions about the conference - productive, worth every penny, and meaningful in ways that continue to be revealed.     

This evening I printed out the final (for now) revision and then twirled around my house in celebration.  In the midst of all this, the ink not even dry on the pages, I heard a trampling up my ramp and then a knock at the door.  My poet friend and her house guests were, coincidentally, delivering fresh baked chocolate chip cookies (The type with ground oatmeal in them!), and we squealed together about my day's accomplishments. 

Alert.  Cliche to follow.  Close your eyes if you must. 

Life is Good.  (She says this while brushing cookie crumbs off the keyboard.)

July 23, 2008

Ta Dah!

Dancing 

It's July 23rd, a week before my self-imposed deadline, and I mostly, almost, maybe after one or two more go throughs, have a decent draft of this latest chapter.  I like it.  I printed off this latest version and with each slap of a page into the bin, my face scrunched up in little girl glee. 

Yeah, I know, it won't last.  But if I don't look at it until tomorrow, I'll have a great night. 

July 13, 2008

Silver River Story News

Mumu After a week of mostly staying home and wearing a variety of mumus (caftans, patio loungers, ugly house dresses -  whatever it is you call the garments that hardly touch your body anywhere.), I'm a stack of pages in on this chapter.  They might not be worth much, but they're there, telling some sort of story, a story that at this moment is boring to me, and it might be, but I know enough to know that I always think this at this point.  Anyway, it feels good to have racked up some words. 

I'm finishing a decent draft of this chapter by the end of the month.  Now, there's a nicely adamant statement of deadline.  We'll see what happens. 

 

  

   

July 09, 2008

Momentum and Salt Marsh Mallows

The toaster oven is still dirty.  I've been writing hard and, finally, maybe, I hate to say it out loud, this chapter has momentum.  Things are pulling together.  I think, "no, she wouldn't do that" and "this, this is what needs to happen right here."  The chapter is having its own authority.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I think I have this character's voice right. 

Whew, I was getting tired of feeling bad about myself. 

Marsh Mallow6 These are blooming in my yard.   

June 29, 2008

Jill Bolte Taylor

The monthly Lesbian Potluck and Readings were last night.  I scooped shrimp from the broth of a low country boil and sucked them out of their shells as women talked about the happenings of their day, their week, their lives.  Pitched among their voices was the goodnight song of a cardinal and the chaotic medley of frogs gearing up for a night of cruising around the lake.

After the readings, some of us stayed on the screened porch.  The lake was only a sheen in the darkness.  One woman had written of the thoughts in her mind just after a car wreck.  "I didn't mind not breathing," was one of the lines.  I asked a rambling question about if she remembered everything and was just transcribing the events or if the writing of it had allowed her to remember.  Was it all "true" or did she take the moment and write what must have been happening the best she could figure out?

Then, in a sort of mind meld, we asked each other if we'd heard Jill Bolte Taylor talk on NPR, on YouTube, on Oprah?  All of us writers were fascinated with this story of a woman who had (during a stroke) gone to the other side of her brain. And that she still lived in that place to a certain extent. All of us had visited there in our writing but not enough or easily enough or long enough.  We yearned for reliable access.

Here's Jill Bolte Taylor.   

June 21, 2008

Harriet McBryde Johnson has died

Harriet McBryde Johnson 2 Oh, this just hurts. 

We never met.  I did write her a fan letter once.  I'd just read To Late to Die Young, her book of essays about disability.  I closed the book and felt part of a community of writers, like we had a style.  She never left the body out of the discussion.  She had that particular crip humor that combines earthy self-deprecation with verbally nailing assholes to the wall with their own bad logic.  Death wasn't so scary, and she was relentless about living well, about all of our rights to live well.

Harriet McBryde Johnson 4 Her essay Unspeakable Conversations, is important.  In 2003, when it was published in the New York Times, I made everyone in my life read it.  She says the things I always want to, but without the impotant sputtering. Read it here.      

June 19, 2008

Lesbian Writers Fund - last chance for 2008

Astaea Lesbian Foundation for Justice Every year the Astraea Lesbian Foundation For Justice selects a few emerging lesbian writers of fiction and poetry and awards them the majorly big bucks.  Here's the link for the submission guidelines and the in-their-office deadline is June 30th.  Hurry. Fame and fortune await!

June 16, 2008

St. Augustine Project Revisions

Fireworks 2 The printer just finished spitting out the pages of my post-conference chapter revision.  I am in the really-pleased-with-myself stage, so I'm not going to read it again for awhile.  Tomorrow, it's on to the next chapter.  

One of the big "ah ha" moments for me at the conference was when Connie May said we should have a time line for the completion of our novels.  I sort of had a little freak out when she said it.  It was shocking to me that I'd never even thought of it since I'm the type who makes time lines and lists for everything.  But then, you know, I'd have to claim that the novel was real. 

I came home and did what I've done for any project I've ever worked on in my whole life except writing and started figuring out word count and the number of chapters and how much time for each one and built in draft revisions and added extra time for sudden life stuff and it may be totally unrealistic but DECEMBER 2009 is the date.  Yikes. 

Thank you, Connie May.  

IMG_7296    

June 13, 2008

Post Below Sea Level Revisions

Giant Swallowtail It's as if I had the wax spread out on the car, but it was still smeary and yellow.  These past days I've been rubbing the chapter, moving the words around in circles, putting a bit of writing muscle into it, and now, in places, it gleams.  Color is showing through even in the not-perfect-yet sections.  And I had thought, before the conference, that I was bringing the best work I could do.  Hah. 

There is exciting news in Gainesville.  We're having the first significant rains since March.  Friends call each other to squeal "it's raining, it's raining," and strangers mutter "great rain, huh?" as they pass.  I check my rain gauge every day, chart the results, and then tell more people than want to know the results.  3.6 inches this week, so far!  

Butterlies abound.     

June 10, 2008

Post Below Sea Level

IMG_7285 After the sweet goodbyes, after the drive home, after dealing with a stopped-up sink and a toppled tree, after many loads of laundry, I was ready. 

I upended the stack of notes, critiques, book suggestions, e-mail contacts, handouts, and hotel memo pads onto my writing bed and have spent a day and a half organizing.  I am excited.  This novel seems possible. 

June 07, 2008

Writing Community

BirthdayI have a friend who, every year on my birthday, calls my mother to thank her for the existence of me.  Well, today's the day for the call.

And tonight there's dinner and a reading with Connie May and Dorothy and Laura van den Berg, and then a champagne reception.  What a fine birthday celebration.  It's also the last night of the conference.

All this week we've been experiencing and talking about the importance of a writing community. We say things about how our family, our friends, our partners don't quite understand what we do. We say how fine it is to be with fellow writers who, even as strangers, "get" us. 

I have friends who don't care that they don't quite "get" me.  They just support me.  They bring me reams of paper and ink cartridges, listen to me read and say it was great no matter what, go to lunch with my mother, buy any book I have anything printed in, and, for today, hand over envelopes of cash towards attending this conference. (It was like being a bride or mafia boss.) 

So, thanks to all of you - the writers here in St. Augustine and to all my people at home.              

June 03, 2008

Writing Below Sea Level with Connie May Fowler

IMG_7255 I've had my manuscript critiqued (thoroughly), I've helped critique a manuscript, I've read in front of a roomful of writers, I've talked writing at lunch, in the lobby of the hotel, and through bathroom stall doors.  I've heard and read many (put an exclamatory adjective here) pieces of writing.  I am so tired. I am so happy. That's it for day one of the Writing Below Sea Level's St. Augustine Project.

Here's the salt marsh view outside my hotel room window.  It's good to be close to the rise and fall of the tides and the occasional rush of a train. 

May 28, 2008

Support

        Bra3                        

This evening I snatched up my mall savvy friend and we went bra shopping.  Yes, this does have something to do with writing. 

On Monday, for more than an hour, a room full of writers will be critiquing my chapter.  That evening I read my work to Connie May Fowler, Dorothy Allison, and twenty others. Then they will say things about it. 

Now, I'm fairly tough.  This means that I can appear calm while my skin is prickling with the shame that I ever thought I was a writer, and that I can keep reading even as I notice, with increasing horror, that every word is stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Some writers have a touchstone that soothes - a locket of their mother's, a mental image of something like a waterfall, or maybe a meditative chant. But let me tell you that, for me, nothing works as well as a new bra. 

Just knowing it's under there, all plunging and pretty, and I'm the rock star of writing. 

 

May 23, 2008

Artist Enhancement Grants

Well, I didn't get one this year.  But listening in on the teleconference where a panel decides these things was fascinating.  Wow, if the group grants didn't have their accessibility ducks in a row, they just didn't get the money.

Unfortunately, there was this part where, when they gave me a just barely not quite good enough for funding score, I muttered, "Aw, f***."  And then "oops" as I scrambled for the mute button.  Maybe they didn't hear.  Maybe they thought it was amusing in a "you know how those writers are" kind of way.  My best hope is that maybe they won't remember my name when I apply again.    

A week from tomorrow I leave for The St. Augustine Project.

April 26, 2008

"Overcoming"

Overcoming inertia to begin this new chapter - this is how I almost started the post.  Me, who has a since-a-child long, nasty relationship with the word "overcoming."  I have a long rant about the how the word is nearly always insulting and disrespectful.  "Overcoming" your disability - please.  How rude.

But here I am, using the word about writing.  The weeks of research and agonizing and hours of playing Wordy on the computer and starting and stopping and writing in circles of cliches and unmoving plots and saying "I'll never write again" in a joking way to friends but really I'm stomach hurts worried - is this all something to be "overcome?"

My analysis of the word says it's wrong to throw any of yourself away, to say it isn't part of all of who you are.  So, if I plug writing into this theory then the skin creeping despair and surety that I'm a useless person that come before the writing is the writing.  Crap.

Overcoming sure would be easier - if only I believed in it.      

April 22, 2008

Earth Day and the Silver River

Img_7206_3 This building used to be the Florida Industrial School for Girls - a reformatory.  These days it's the home of the Marion County Museum of History.  Yesterday I sat and talked with the couple responsible for its existence, and their own memories and their generosity, as much as the exhibits, have me writing again.

Part of the writing of this current novel is to show how earth and water and plants and bone can pass memory forward through the ages.  Yesterday, I listened as a man told me that, since he was young, he could go into the woods and be able to know what to eat and how to start a fire and make a shelter.  No one showed him, but he knew.

Tomorrow I'm going kayaking on this river that I'm writing about.  My Earth Day resolution is to listen to it the best I can.      

 

April 13, 2008

Online and print

The emotional contentment of rubbing a finger over my name, the smell of new cover, the heft bending my wrist back - the thrill is irreplaceable. No matter what I professed in public about the equal validity of online journals, the physical happiness of a print publication has always meant more to me.

Then, this month, two of my previously-in-print pieces were published in online journals and here was an opportunity for a direct comparison of the two mediums. (First Person Queer and Babel Fruit; Gertrude and Khimairal Ink)

It's not the same.  And it's not less.  I've received more feedback, more response, more dialog about the online versions than ever about the print ones.  There's an immediacy of reactions and exchange of thoughts that is new to me. 

It's not the brush of twenty weight stock under my finger pads exciting and, so far, you can't have a deeply ego-bolstering reading in a bookstore, but it satisfies and encourages and compels my writing.  It makes me feel a part of this new something.    

March 30, 2008

Point of View and Kevin Connolly

Kevinconollymangirlandboyclujnapoca All sorts of things can give my writing life a boost -  a good conversation with a poet friend, my mother's lungs improving, an acceptance (more about that later), or a little dust storm swirl of synchronicity.

Last week, I was rambling on to a friend about my next chapter (another form of procrastinating) and how I wanted the main character to use skateboard mobility and what would that be like in the historical era of the chapter.  She said that if there were wheelchairs then the character would use one. 

I took a breath and went on a rant about how that wasn't true, that using a wheelchair was sometimes a choice made to make other people more comfortable, to be more at their eye level, how using a skateboard, or scooching, or setting up your home all at floor level could be the better choice. 

The very next day, on the New Pages blog, I found a link to Kevin Connolly's photography. That is his image at the top of this post.  He takes photos, from skateboard level, of people staring at him.  The photos are wonderful, his experiences are often mine (I, too, have had people stuff money in my gaping-open backpack.), but what surprised me was how his art excited me about writing.

His images add yet another layer to the meaning of "point of view."  We write from a particular angle that, along with everything else, includes our physical experience of the world.  And, as his photos show so well, this writing, this point of view, hopefully, reflects against the reader in a way that offers a more complex picture of their own lives. 

This has given me a renewed, still not quite all figured out, understanding of what my job is as a writer.   

March 27, 2008

Ahead of deadline

Img_3184 This morning, at six, I tapped the send button and it was done.  My chapter for the Below Sea Level workshop is submitted. 

And now I can't make any changes until after the workshop critique in June.  Of course, in these past few hours, I've had at least three, what seem to me, brilliant insights about the chapter. 

My compromise is to retrieve the folder from the bottom drawer where I've hidden it from myself, but I don't open it.  I write my "insights" on slips of paper and tuck them inside.  Then I shut the drawer.

I think it would be best if I move on.  1919 anImg_3218_3d the Spanish flu are calling me.  But first I'll go admire the blooms on my ash magnolia.   

March 14, 2008

Lay lady lay?

It's one a.m. and it's possible that I've finished a revised draft of yet another chapter of the new book.  I mean, I still have to recheck all the lay, lain, laid, lie stuff, and is it drug or dragged, and were there really persimmons in Florida ten thousand years ago, but mostly, yes, I have a shinier version than I did two days ago. 

And I revised my resume for a residency I'm applying to for the fall.  And I wrote an essay about memory. And now I'm writing this post.

I did eat breakfast, but all I remember since are four boiled shrimp and three radishes and a chocolate chip cookie. I've worn my mu-mu all day, and today's bath is still waiting.  Okay, I'm turning off the computer and going to bed.

Apple_pie P.S. A pie update.  I chose apple.  It was delicious. 

March 03, 2008

Pies, pies, pies

Apple_pie It's done!  The draft is done.  Not done, done, but done enough to send off to readers.  One copy went to an excellent critiquer and another to my main cheerleader.

Every writer needs a cheerleader.  Mine says Closeupofblueberryplantpr80080 every word I write is brilliant, and she bakes me a pie for each chapter.  I can't decide.  Apple is my favorite, but I'm thinking that blueberries are almost in season.

The chapter files are put away, and the submission folder is on my lap.  These days, I'm getting those good-writing-but-this-piece-not-quite-right-for-us-please-send-more rejections.  It's time to "send more."

Pie3 Ohhh.  I forgot about key lime.         

February 28, 2008

Yippe-Kay-Yay

Blurred_fritillary_new A first, has-a-beginning-middle-end, very, very, very, very bad draft exists of this next chapter.  Well, it doesn't actually exist by my Luddite standards since the new printer isn't here yet.  (I backed up on two separate flash drives.) 

Anyway, I am pleased with my own, fabulous writer self.  I twirl through my house being all smug and pleased and pumped full of writing ego.  I am disciplined, I am deft with sentence structure, I am the genius of voice, I pace like a marathoner  - please, don't laugh.  I need these moments.  Tomorrow, I have to actually read the thing. 

January 30, 2008

Hard Working Writers

Group_photo_2 These are some of the other writers in my Writers in Paradise critique group, and some of them report that they're working hard. 

Since I also want to be one of the most disciplined and productive writers in the world, I spent the morning consolidating these people's critiques of my manuscript.  My mind started springing around, my pulse went along with it, and I was scribbling revisions over and around their comments. This is why I went to the conference.   

January 28, 2008

Writers in Paradise - the morning after

Img_7074 Throw away the first seven sentences, a lot of craft, vernacular jarring, gorgeous, limited point of view liberating, problematic choreography in this scene, good syntax, too precious, omniscience well done, why did she save her sister?, point of view shift confusing, artful, too much stream of consciousness, this part too fictitive, couldn't put it down, right here the con artist is shying away from her con, effective and subtle historical details, need more directed goals in the beginning, organic storyteller, obey rules of proportion, incredibly dramatic, need more scenes in dialog, watch out for abject naturalism, poignant emotions - these are bits and pieces of the critique of my manuscript.

                                                                                   

And there was so much more.                                                               

P.S. This wood stork was in the lake outside my hotel room.

January 18, 2008

Packed and Ready

D Writers in Paradise starts tomorrow.  A stack of bedside reading, yellow pads, nail polish, past writings, clothes - oh so many clothes, grapefruit, a stapler, soy protein powder, camera, extra pillows - this is only the first column of the "list."  I am not embarrassed.  I might even pack more.  I have a van, so why not?

I've fiddled with the website and added a couple of new pages.  They're excerpts from my first "as-yet-unpublished" novel.  It's something for all y'all to read while I'm gone.  Enjoy.